The Coveted WOOT Bag of Crap

Dude!!!! I missed it again.. That damn WOOT!!!

Bag O' Crap IX: Crap Is A Force Of Nature Crap is a many-splendored thing.
If crap be the food of love, crap on. It is better to have crapped and lost than
never to have crapped at all. Crap, lift us up where we belong.

Yes, crap is in the air once again, so we're sending this randomly
crappy, bag-shaped valentine to all the people we really love. If you don't
manage to get one, it's because we're sulking over something you've done to
upset us. Try to guess what it was!

ALERT! ALERT! Somebody misunderstands this concept every time, so
please READ THE BIG PRINT:

1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU'LL GET ONE BAG WITH (up to) THREE
CRAPS IN IT.

2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY OF THREE WHEN YOU
ORDER.

3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE.
The item
quantity you select is the number of crappy items we'll put in your bag. Select
THREE. You will only get one bag. Later, you can watch with smug satisfaction as
a surprisingly large number of less observant Wooters complain on the forums
about their two missing bags. We say again: YOU WILL ONLY GET ONE BAG.

We make absolutely no promises about the bags or what's in them. You
give us real U.S. legal tender, we send you whatever worthless garbage we
couldn't fit into our dumpster this week. God bless the Internet!

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:

I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your
chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).

II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people's crap turns out
to be nicer than yours.

III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better
off just not buying this crap.

IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but
your own inattention.

V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want,
want the crap you get.

Warranty: you wish

Features:
1 (one) bag
Some (some) crap