Woot's Random Bag of Crap

Damn it!! I should have known that Woot would have had the Random Bag of Crap today!!!!

Stocking of Crap VIII: Santa Strikes Back
You don’t have anyone to share the holidays with. No kids to put presents under the tree for, no big group of friends to share a Christmas drink with. You have nothing better to do at midnight on Christmas morning than to look at Woot. Again.

You lucky bastard.

Santa knows all about your unusual tastes, so he’s saved a stocking full of crap for the least naughty among you. If you miss out, you have only yourselves to blame. We’re talking Santa here. He knows. He knows it all.

ATTENTION! Somebody misunderstands this concept every time, so please READ THE BIG PRINT:

1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU’LL GET ONE BAG WITH (up to) THREE CRAPS IN IT.

2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY OF THREE WHEN YOU ORDER.

3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE.

The item quantity you select is the number of crappy items we’ll put in your bag. Select THREE. You will only get one bag. Later, you can watch with smug satisfaction as a surprisingly large number of less observant Wooters complain on the forums about their two missing bags. We say again: YOU WILL ONLY GET ONE BAG.

We make absolutely no promises about the bags or what’s in them. You pay us real American hard currency – we send you the dregs of our warehouse stock. Funny how that works, huh? It’s like a blindfolded shopping spree at a dollar store!

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:


I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).

II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.

III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.

IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but your own inattention.

V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.

Warranty: you wish

Features:

1 (one) bag
Some (some) crap