K-Fed Rock the Palace

I know what my friend Reb will be doing tonight in Vegas….

That’s right heading to “The Strip” to PURE at Caesars Palace (remember they doing have Free Wi-Fi) to catch K-Fed…

And DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE... Such a bad example for Preston....

420

April 20: 420

420, indeed, was thought of years ago as the time of day some people got together to smoke pot. Now it is used as code for "Let's go get high." Also, some people consider it to be April 20th that is "National Pot Smoking Day."

Enjoy the Day......

Sticks-n-Stones

You would think that this was said on a near by play ground, but it wasn't.....

"I listen to all voices, but mine is the final decision," he said. "And Don Rumsfeld is doing a fine job. He's not only transforming the military, he's fighting a war on terror. He's helping us fight a war on terror. I have strong confidence in Don Rumsfeld.

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense." - GW

Daddy has a New Bag...

I was really thinking about doing this but I see now that it wasn't the perfect plan... I’ll stick to inadvertently grabbing chic’s goodies at the bar…..

This is Philip Winikoff, a 76-year-old Florida man that was arrested and charged with sexual battery after he posed as a doctor and went door-to-door with a black doctor's bag in hand offering women free breast exams. According to a Broward County Sheriff's Office report, two women 33 and 36--fell for the scam, which Winikoff allegedly ran in Lauderdale Lakes.

Suri TomKat

Since it's impossible to avoid the birth Tom & Katie (TomKat) baby girl Suri today, I'm just going to accept it and post this ridiculous game to keep myself occupied.

It's called Keep Katie Quiet, and here's the description: Catch Tom's Crazy pills to keep Katie Quiet during Pregnancy or Xenu will come and take her away! Will Katie be completely Silent during birth in accordance with Scientology's completely rational beliefs? Its up to you to protect her from the evil alien overlord Xenu.

Click here to play.

Ho to Go..

I don't think the Hooters employee handbook addresses what a manager is supposed to do when a corporate trainer tells waitresses they could earn extra money by sexually servicing customers.

In a federal lawsuit, Jarman Gray, a former assistant manager of an Alabama Hooters, charges that he was fired last year after complaining about comments made to employees by a female "visiting training manager." In his April 7 U.S. District Court complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, th1e 31-year-old Gray claims that a trainer named Cat told waitresses that they were "the ones with the *#$% and you are in control because of that." Then she reportedly added, "If you need the extra money, go ahead and suck a @*%# or #!%@ a customer if the money is right." Gray contends that offended waitresses approached him and "asked if he could resolve this problem and correct Cat's offensive behavior."

But after he called the Hooters corporate office to complain about the trainer's remarks, Gray said he was canned by the owner of the Auburn franchise where he worked. Gray, who is suing for sexual harassment and retaliation, charges that franchisee Darrell Spikes told him, "I'm top dog, you don't call corporate. You no longer have a job here."

Gray, who worked at Hooters for about nine months, filed his complaint days after receiving a "right to sue" letter from the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. In mid-2005, Gray filed a complaint with the EEOC alleging that he had been terminated "in retaliation for reporting sexual harassment in the workplace."

Here's the poop... <>2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 >

Story Problem

My life lately has been a little hectic. My mom joined my dad as a registered guest at the WFMC. She had a 14 cm (size of a grapefruit) benign tumor removed from her abdomen on Friday morning and it looks like she will be able to come home (to my house) on Monday.

That evening I was part of a story problem I would rather put behind me…

2 guys walk to a restaurant for dinner without wives or girlfriends. They get a table outside in the garden area. There they meet 3 more guys on their way to a bar that sits above the restaurant they are dinning at. The 2 guys eating dinner along
agree to join the 3 guy upstairs for drink after dinner. When dinner is over the
2 guys join the 3 guys at a booth in the bar…

How many of the 5 guys should feel dirty about the very metro-sexual evening?

Friday was a beautiful day, one of the first real sunny and warm days in Rochester. After everything settled down with my folks, my friend Nick and I walked down town to grab a bite to eat at City Café one of the only restaurants with outdoor setting. That’s the 2 guys at dinner part…. But it was a really nice evening and it was just what I needed to wind down after a pretty dicey day..

Baby Got Back

A team of British academics has developed a mathematical formula to determine just how perfect your posterior is.

"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," said Dr. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, who devised the formula for measuring one's moons.

And the Rosetta Stone of bootyliciousness is: (S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).

While it may look complicated, getting to the bottom of the formula is easy, Holmes insists.

First, a woman assesses her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:

* S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)

* C = circularity (rounder is better)

* B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)

* F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)

* T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)

Then calculate this:

* V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.

While everyone may aspire to cans of J.Lo or Jessica Simpson proportions, balance is key to achieving the perfect score of approximately 80.

"Slender thighs and hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly," Holmes said.

"Kylie [Minogue] would score amazingly well on sphericality and symmetry. Her bottom is perfect in those categories, more so than the likes of . . . Jennifer Lopez, who has a more curvy posterior," he said.

Interestingly, a poll of 2000 people across England found that while women sided with J. Lo's rump as the best, men preferred Minogue's.

But science really settles nothing, says booty expert Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

"They got to be juicy, round, with a little jiggle to it," the "Baby Got Back" rapper told The Post yesterday, laughing hysterically. "The bubbliness does matter."

But there's only one way to measure the most desirable derriere, he said.

"You know it when you see it," he said. "We could debate this all day."

NASsCAR

On Sunday two hot NASCAR broads almost came to blows over a little bump-n-grind incident their sweeties had on the track. Say what you will about NASCAR, but this would never happen in any other sport…

I don’t foresee Chaniqua calling out Bobbie-Joe for a clipping or holding call, nor would I want to….

Moments after the wreck, TV cameras caught girlfriend Nicole Lunders slamming a water bottle on Biffle's box. She then marched down pit road and climbed halfway up Busch's box and had a heated exchange with Eva Bryan. The brief confrontation created a buzz in NASCAR, and the sanctioning body wants to cool down the emotions.

Here's the story.....

The Beast

Milwaukee's Best "The Beast" ($1 pitchers @ Ferris) has created probably one of the best marketing web pages with hot chic posters and games.. Including this cool game where the objective is simple: check out your buddy's hot girlfriend's cleavage for as long as possible without getting busted.

Click HERE to play.....

Hit me Baby, 1 More Time…

Star Magazine has informed us that Child Services finally got off their lazy asses and made a trip over to the Spears/Federline home in an attempt to spare Sean Preston from the cruelty of being cared for by his freakshow parents.

Britney's baby-on-the-lap frenzied driving, combined with Kevin's incessant "hip-hopping" proved to be too much for the toddler, who apparently tried to end it all by jumping off his high-chair and fracturing his skull.

priceless

Here’s your chance to show your creativity. MasterCard is holding a “priceless” fill-in-the-blank contest. Good Luck.. Click HERE...

And here are some that you won’t see on TV….. Click HERE... (PG-13 to R)

Hey Tone, this might be a good idea for the scavenger hunt…… extra points!!!!!

Remember Candy Cigarettes…

Here’s a new spin on an old game.. We have to get more kids smoking. What’s going to happen to the economy down south if we don’t support entrepreneurs like the people that developed the "Smoking Baby"..

Philip Morris is threatening legal action over the sale of a "Smoking Baby" doll, but not because the tobacco giant is offended by the thought of an infant lighting up, but rather because the diapered cigarette enthusiast appears to be enjoying a trademarked Marlboro. In an April 7 letter to Toy Lounge, an online retailer, Philip Morris attorneys contend that the $5.95 ceramic doll comes equipped with a pack of cigarettes bearing a "logo confusingly similar" to Marlboro's "roof design," which is further described as "a pentagonal figure with a horizontal top and two vertical sides with two upwardly and inwardly sloping diagonals." The design of the package of toy cigarettes which are actually unscented incense is intended to "evoke an unsavory association with Philip Morris," alleges the letter, a copy of which you can find HERE.

The company also claims that a "Li'l Smokes" refill pack also infringes its Marlboro trademark. Along with leaning on Toy Lounge, Philip Morris also apparently contacted the novelty doll's manufacturer and was told that the offending products would be altered to address the tobacco company's concerns. Commendably, Philip Morris has never been shown to market its products to newborns.

However, the company has previously tracked Marlboro's "market penetration" with smokers as young as 15, since the teenage years are when crucial "initial brand selections" are made, according to one internal company memo.

Smoke'm if you gott'm, Bumb'm if you don't......

Never Look a Gift wHorse in the Mouth..

This is a sculpture of Britney Spears titled 'Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston'. Nice thought, bad choice of expression….

This view reminds me of a great saying.. “You can get a good look at a steak sticking up head up a bulls ass, but I would rather take the butchers word for it….” – Tommy Boy

Best College for Beaver

If your beaver needed dental work, where would it go? In this case, a beaver who lost her four front teeth in an encounter with a car has been checked into Washington State University's Veterinary Teaching Hospital to recuperate.

The 41-pound animal, nicknamed Bailey, lost her chewing teeth when struck by a car last week near Lewiston, Idaho, about 30 miles southeast of Pullman. A retired Idaho Fish and Game agent brought the injured beaver to the WSU College of Veterinary Medicine.

Nickol Finch, the veterinarian who heads the veterinary hospital's Exotics and Wildlife Department, said the beaver's prognosis is good, and treatment will be to let nature take its course as her choppers grow back. "Her four front teeth are expected to grow back in about three months, and she should be able to be released into the wild without any problems," Finch said.

A healthy beaver is a happy beaver!!!!

Those Trailer Park Romances

Rapper Eminem has filed for divorce from longtime love Kim Mathers after reconciling with her for the bajillionth time in a formal wedding just 82 days ago. What's more, the rapper does not even have a pre-nup.

I was starting to think Eminem was absolutely bonkers for marrying Kim in the first place, than writing a song about killing her, then reconciling with her, then bailing her out of jail , then remarrying her with out a prenup and then divorcing her all in the past few years. But then I remembered that he's addicted to sleeping pills and I put to 2 and 2 together....

ADIDAS

Who said that Jenna Jamison can’t act with her cloths on, obviously hasn’t watched this video…

I guess this is supposed to be an Adidas commercial… Remember ADIDAS stands for (All Day I Dream About Sex)

The Fats of Life

Mrs. Garrett never had this problem and the chics on The Facts of Life where hot...

This slob is Rachel Holt. The 34-year-old Delaware teacher is facing rape charges for allegedly having sex with a 13-year-old student 28 times during a one-week period last month. Holt, a science teacher at Claymont Elementary School, allegedly had sex with the boy, a student in her class, at her Wilmington home.

According to a probable cause affidavit filed today in Justice of the Peace Court, the boy's father contacted cops yesterday afternoon and told them his child was having "inappropriate contact" with Holt. Last night, in an interview at New Castle County police headquarters, Holt admitted she had intercourse with the boy 27 times and performed oral sex once during the last week of March (I guess her hoo-ha was worn out).

She also revealed that another student, 12, had watched her having sex with the boy and that she had provided both boys with beer.

Holt is being held in a local lockup in lieu of $560,450 bail.

PREDATORS: More imprudent teachers here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and, of course, here.

Wieners Hard-On Prostate

A compound formed when meat is charred at high temperatures as in barbecue encourages the growth of prostate cancer in rats, researchers reported on Sunday.

Their study, presented at a meeting of the American Association for Cancer Research, may help explain the link between eating meat and a higher risk of prostate cancer. This also fits in with other studies suggesting that cooking meat until it chars might cause cancer. The compound, called PhIP, is formed when meat is cooked at very high temperatures, Dr. Angelo De Marzo and colleagues at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore reported.

It appears to both initiate and promote the growth of prostate cancer in rats, they said. "We stumbled across a new potential interaction between ingestion of cooked meat in the diet and cancer in the rat," De Marzo said in a statement. "For humans, the biggest problem is that it's extremely difficult to tell how much PhIP you've ingested, since different amounts are formed depending on cooking conditions."

For the study, Yatsutomo Nakai and other members of De Marzo's team mixed PhIP into food given to rats for up to eight weeks, then studied the animals' prostates, intestines and spleens. They found genetic mutations in all the organs after four weeks. Wow, these guys must have really small hands....

Nite Life in Rochester

Rochester is a very nice town but it doesn’t have great hours or operation. Everyone and their brother goes out to eat between 6-8 pm and that usually makes the wait every where about an hour. If you want to do anything else, like catch a movie. You will either need to eat at 5 pm or after 9 pm. In Rochester after 9 pm can be nearly impossible.. (this would be an opportunity local business owners!!!)

Last night Amy and I caught a movie and then went out for a bite. Seeing that it was about 10 pm when the movie got out our options where limited. Lucky for us Newt’s was open. It’s a nice quite bar with excellent food. Amy and I split the Todd Burger. The burger has american cheese, bacon and two fried eggs on it… ummmmmie.