Top 10 Worst Web URL's

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com

Thanks for the list Dan.....

Bootielicious

I guess in Texas boots go with any attire…

And I told Amy she should have shaved before we went out...

No Bull

Today we went to the Fort Worth Stockyards. It’s located in the historical section of Fort Worth, TX and is full of shops, restaurants, and bars.. Best thing is that you can walk around with you open intox, sweet…

Amy and I where joined by my mom, my cousin Dave and his wife Tracie, along with their son and our godson Dalton (pictured above on the steer with me..).

We watch a cattle drive, a shoot-out, walked a maze, and took in an old time Wild West Show..

Marketing..

If you have done any traveling in the in the western-Midwest I’m sure you have ran across the coveted Kum & Go convenience store. Amy and I hit this one for our first fuel stop in Iowa…..

And this was $9.99 well spent… I’m sure the Kurt’s are quite jealous…

Remember that Minnesota has the famed Pump n' Munch so I’m always on the look out for the next big score…

Ummmm Beer..

You have new Picture Mail!, originally uploaded by Rich on the Road.

Things you might see in the south. Like this beer vending machine in KS.. By the way, sign says, don't buy after midnight or on Sundays.

The beers where only $1.50..

Happy Birthday Hayley!!!!

Wow, our niece turns 2 today… Happy Birthday Hayley!!!!

Bloody Sunday

George Bush Singing Sunday Bloody Sunday - video powered by Metacafe

Remember Max Headroom? I think he became the President of the United States…

Cool video, it must have taken a lot of time to edit.. Thank, Dave W. for the “head-up”..

I Got Your?

My friend Nick has been touring Turkey for the last month and this is a picture of him with a friend of his at a Turkish bar. Looks like his friend is playing the old, ha ha, got your nose… Well I don’t think so.. Nick’s nose is way bigger than that..

I must be the Turkish version… I got your wiener…. much more proportionally correct…

A Night in Paris...

Amy's going to be out-of-town for the next year and I think I found a replacement for her...

Thanks BWE Blog...

Five Levels of Hangover

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 (diet) cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once. But can't stop farting...

Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of t his 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.... And your poop smells like whisky...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

Thanks for the list Paul....

He Gave a Hoot!

Robert Brooks, the chairman of Hooters of America Inc. who made a fortune selling chicken wings served by scantily clad waitresses, was found dead at his home Sunday, officials said. He was 69. It was unclear how Brooks died. The Horry County coroner's office told The (Myrtle Beach) Sun News that an autopsy would be performed Monday. Several calls to the coroner's office by The Associated Press went unanswered.

Since opening its first store in Clearwater, Fla., in 1983, the chain has expanded across the U.S. and into more than a dozen countries ranging from Taiwan to Venezuela. Hooters has about 61 million annual visitors to its some 425 restaurants. With a group of Atlanta investors, Brooks bought expansion and franchise rights for the Hooters chain in 1984. He eventually bought majority control and became chairman.

Sorry Dan.......

Motoring Minnesota

You have new Picture Mail!, originally uploaded by Rich on the Road.

I just got back from a quick 200 mile ride around Lake Pepin (A reservoir on the Mississippi). Since it as been so hot lately, for Minnesota, this was the perfect day to get out and Amy was/is still parked at the dinning room table with her nose in a book… WEEEE…

My trip started in Rochester heading strait for Lake City, MN (birthplace of water skiing). Then I headed north along the Mississippi to Red Wing, MN (Red Wing Boots). At Red Wing, I crossed over the Mississippi to Wisconsin. Once in Wisconsin, I started back south to the next bridge to cross back into Minnesota at Wabasha (Grumpy Old Men).

On my way back from Wabasha I stopped at this church in New Albany, MN… I think the population of the town is less than 10, but the have a big ass church…

Thanks for pointing out the motorcycle Dave....

Sunny Afternoon in Rochester

The Morgan’s (growing in numbers with the addition of Eli) came to visit on Saturday. We had lunch, which consisted of a couple of Hayley’s favorites, pizza and corn… After lunch, we went to the ground, that’s what Hayley calls the play ground..

I can’t believe Hayley will be 2 on the 24th.. She’s growing up fast. I’m afraid the next time I see her she will be smarted than me.. I know I’ll be the only one still crapping my pants…..

By-the-way for you computer challenged people out there… If you click on the underlined words you will see pictures and links……

Wal-Mart Eases Up on Shoplifters

Wal-Mart has long been known for a very strict policy: call the police on anyone who takes anything. But that policy is over. Wal-Mart will no longer be prosecuting first-time shoplifters unless they are between 18 and 65 and have stolen more than $25 worth of stuff.

The idea here is to have a bunch of minors or senior citizens do your shoplifting for you.. I’ll have to do some research on what an acceptable fee would be.. 10 cent on the dollar?

Anyway, I saw this on Dave’s blog and he got it from the Freakonomics blog. I’m sure you have seen the book, but you know how I feel about books…

Practice Test

Amy has been studying a lot lately for a “big” test that she has to take at the end of the month. I always ask her why she didn’t pick a carrier a little less demanding like selling nuts and bolts, and she just laughs.. I never know if she’s laughing with me or at me.. Part of her routine is taking practice tests, so I found this one.. It has anatomy questions..

Think you know boobs? Prove it. Take the What’s Her Bra Size? quiz from Zipperfish.com and see how you do. This rudiculous game (with hilarious audio commentary, by the way) has everybody from Jennifer Aniston to Jennifer Love Hewitt. Let’s see how much attention you’ve actually paid to the lovely lady lumps of our favorite female celebrities.

It’s actually muct more difficult (not harder..) than I thought it would be.

Child Star to Porn Star?

Dustin Diamond who played the infamous "Screech" on Saved By The Bell was on Howard Stern this morning, and of course Howard couldn’t wait to ask about the urban legend that he is massively hung. And it turns out it's no rumor, Screech has 10 inches! Screech's girlfriend was there to verify and he talked about some unusual problems he's had with his giant size over the years. There was a funny line that when he was born his dad said he was "all nose and hose".

And he's had the typical messed up life of child star since the days of the show. He now lives in Wisconsin, has bad credit, is about to loose his house, and he has a website where he's selling t-shirts to try and save it. Get an autographed t-shirt from a child actor on the slide for only $20! This bit of info was first brought to you by Dan's blog..

Love Connection

Another follow up.. I just received word today that Clint was spotted at the big 4th of July celebration in Gladstone, MI with a chic... I guess the Yahoo Personal Ad the Clint had worked after all.

I really must thank Tanya and Becky (my biggest fans) for this information. It’s great to get feed back on these stories, because I really do care… You could say it’s like my own little soap opera…

Take'n out the Trash

Thank you to BWE for this cool Kick K-Fed's Ass Game.. And as a bouns you get a couple of swings in on Britney.

Click HERE to Play..

An Apple for the Teacher

I recently revisited Mr. Saari’s web page and I’m very pleased with his progress.. The updates to your web page are colorful and organized.. A+

Also, I’m glad to see that the children will be doing things on Tuesday’s and that the Spelling lessons are no longer hooked on Ebonics.

Oh ya, Nice Sweater….. And see you look happier....

Rich and da'Pimp

This weekend I went to visit my mom in Southern Illinois. Since Amy is out of town and I was by myself. I decided to try flying there, because it’s about a 10 hour drive and driving can be dangerous… Well, with all of the layovers, connections and driving to and from the airport it’s not much quicker..

But, it was worth it… I had a brush with fame. When I was waiting for my connection at O’Hare I walked by Dennis Hof owner “operator” of the Bunny Ranch and one of his star whores Brooke Taylor or it might have been Bunny Love (sorry no link, keeping with PG-13 theme). Anyhoe... They where in the Windy City for a big 4th of July celebration at a local “club”..

Big Dog

Takeru Kobayashi shoves hot dogs in his mouth during Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Competition Tuesday, July 4, 2006, in Coney Island, New York. Kobayashi won his sixth straight title by beating his own record and eating 53 and 3/4 hot dogs.

Dude, that's more than 15,ooo cals.......

Bad Seat

You have new Picture Mail!, originally uploaded by Rich on the Road.

This is a view from my window seat 31F.. I should have picked my seat online.... I wonder if it will be very loud..

Dan K. would have never made this rookie move..